The Lost Goodbye
by crysta656
Summary: It was sheer agony to not feel her near him any longer. He didn't have to be there to know that she was gone. A oneshot that fits within Saved.


This one-shot fits into Saved. This is a chapter that I left out because I didn't think it flowed well with the rest of the story. This occurs when Jasper finds Bella gone from the hotel room. Enjoy!

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The Lost Goodbye

_One of these days the sky's gonna break and everything will escape and I'll know_

_One of these days the mountains are gonna fall into the sea and they'll know_

_That you and I were made for this I was made to taste your kiss_

_We were made to never fall away._

_~ Letters from the sky_

_Civil Twilight_

I could feel it, even without my emphatic abilities, that she was gone. I wanted to race through the streets, push those around me out of the way, clamor through the opulent lobby of the hotel and throw down the door to her room. I wanted to see that she was still there, still breathing, still waiting for me in the way that I was sure that I would wait for her. I wanted to do all those things, but knew that it wouldn't help.

I dropped the bag of fruit onto the street, the berries smashing on the pale concrete and forming a pool of red as I picked up my pace, my legs moving too slow for what I needed to do.

With my sight, I could see the elderly porter from the hotel. His shoulder's were slumped almost like a man who had seen enough of the day and was ready for a long sleep. I wanted to call out to him and tell him to stop her, hold her there for just a minute more, even seconds. I heard myself cry out as the taxi raced down the street as I watched it go by.

I could see her face, that breathtakingly innocent face, those wide espresso brown eyes, the curling tumble of hair as it speed by.

I turned away as the taxi finally left my sight and walked slower than normal to the steps of the hotel and in a daze, somehow inserted the room key and let myself into the room that we had been sharing.

Her scent, our scents combined still hung heavy in the air. A lasting reminder to what we had shared.

I looked at the four walls that surrounded me and sank to the ground in despair. I was broken, literally and in every single way... broken. What was my world without her?

If I had been thinking rationally, I would have reminded myself that I had known this was going to happen. It was something that I had reminded myself everyday for the past week. One week, Alice's words ran through my head, one week and then she would choose, she would be gone. I suppose that in the back of my mind I thought that I could change her mind, make her choose me.

I don't know why I thought that.

In the silence of the room, I looked around me. The place was a mess. The bed was rumpled and towels were strewn across the floor. The lamp was still on it's side, where it had landed from getting bumped around the night before.

I forced myself up from the floor and started to pick up around me, giving myself time to just linger in the presence of her smell for just a little while longer.

In her haste to leave, she had left behind a few things. There was an extra bottle of shampoo under the sink. A white sweater tucked into a drawer, along with a bright blue scarf. I lifted the items to my nose and inhaled. Her scent still clung to the material. I even opened the shampoo and took deep breaths of it into my nose. I wasn't sure how I was going to live through this.

As night descended over the glittering lights of the city, I finally found the courage to leave the room. My feet dragged all the way down to the lobby. With my head full of grief, I headed over to the front desk to check Bella out and settle the account, unsure of whether there were any further charges.

The man behind the desk was wary of me, as all humans are, so he was speedy and efficient. There were no charges left as the room was set to be billed to Carlisle and Esme. I thanked him, although I could sense that he was happy to be away from me. I made him uncomfortable. Usually I would have cared, but not today. There was no room in my heart for me to feel compassion, it was completely taken up with her absence.

I grabbed my suitcase and made my way to the glass doors that lead onto the street. As I made my way out to stand in the dark night, I found myself in the same position that I had been in just a week ago. I looked up at her window, waiting for a glimpse of her to ease the pain I could feel in my chest, but she wasn't there.

I pulled out the note that I had found on the desk and opened it. _I know and I remember, _was all it said.

I walked into the house, actually feeling as dead inside as I was outside. My family was waiting for me, concerned expressions on each of their faces.

I looked to Edward and felt the anger and sadness coming from him. I didn't care as I watched him turn on his heel and head up to his room. He detected Bella's scent on me, our mixed scents as well. I didn't offer him any comfort and I didn't flinch as the door to his room slammed shut.

I pulled the blue scarf out of my pocket and handed it to Rose.

"She left it." I said simply as I turned to head out to my favorite spot, the rose garden.

A soft hand at my arm stopped me.

"She wore this in Paris." Rosalie said softly.

"Yes," I answered her plainly. "I saw it in the picture of you at the Eiffel Tower. I thought it should be in your keeping until she returns for it."

I headed out the door, but that didn't stop Rose, who for pretense was my sister and I supposed that in reality she pretty much was. She was rude and at times cruel, but she loved me just as any sister would.

"I don't know the future Jasper." She said softly, sitting beside me on the bench.

I wanted to tell her to go, to leave me to my despair and loneliness.

"But I know that she cares for you." She finished.

"I don't know how it happened." I admitted, thinking of the past. "When I saw her for the first time at the house, something just clicked inside me. I was meant for her, even if she wasn't meant for me."

"I know." She whispered, tucking her small hand into mine, just like any sister would do if she was sad. And Rose was.

We sat in silence for I don't know how long, it could have been hours or even just minutes. We were both stuck in our own thoughts until the doors opened and soft yellow light spilled onto the lawn.

I smelled Alice before she could even walk out.

Rosalie tucked the scarf back into my coat and gifted me with one of her rare, soft smiles. "Why don't you keep it for me?"

I squeezed her hand and sent her waves of thanks as she walked into the house, narrowing her eyes at Alice as she went in.

The woman who had been my wife for so long followed the path until she reached my knees.

"I wish there were words of comfort I could offer you." She stated quietly.

I wanted to counter back at her, lash out at her for causing all of this, but deep down I knew that whatever she had done, she had done it out of love for me and for our family. That was just who she was.

I plucked a rose from the vine and handed it to her. Her eyes lit for a moment in thanks before she stood.

"This separation won't be forever." Alice said with a smile. "She needs this time to grow, to become the woman that she needs to be before spending eternity with you."

"You've seen this? You are certain?"

Her tawny eyes were sad for a moment before she smiled at me tenderly.

"I have and I am."

With that, she walked back into the house. I pulled the scarf out of my pocket, letting the silk run between my fingers.

I didn't know how long it would be before I saw her, but I had hope. Finally.


End file.
